Getting Malled

I understand that on Tuesday, Oct. 14, the Hernando County Planning & Zoning Commission approved that Board of County Commissioners the opportunity to further review a request of H. R. Hernando LLP to instill in the County a 57-acre shopping center in the vicinity of I-75 and SR 50. It is to be named Nature Coast Commons.

The unanimous decision came of no surprise since the request was “consistent” with the current master plan and zoning requirements. So it goes and let it be.

I did a little Googling and found nothing on H. R. Hernando LLP, although Nature Coast Commons immediately referred me to a web site that told me the project intends to splatter the east side of the County with anchor stores that include Best Buy, JC Penney (gotta love ‘em), Office Depot and Ross Dress For Less, among others.

Blue blazers shot before my eyes. Here we go again: the big box mentality is “in consistency” with what goes on around this town.

There are no enticements that will prompt me to grace those acres and acres of another blimp of a larger-than-usual strip mall. I won’t go there any more than I frequent all those retail stores that proliferate the rest of Hernando County.

I want a mall! Right there just off I-75 on Hwy 50 where the SunCoast Toll Road to Tampa would entice shoppers from surrounding areas. Just as tourist dollars from non-residents are cream on the topping of county funds, it could have been a small gold mine.

As is the common practice of shopping in the County, it sends me spending time traipsing from one store to another in the heat of summer, the short periods of chills in the air in our winter wonderland and the sometimes-inclement stormy weather of spring, summer and hurricane seasons.

The creeks don’t rise and the rivers don’t flow in this fair County, but the numbers of strip malls continue to grow!

I want to be malled! No waste of gas, time and the aggravations of going here, there and somewhere else. I want the convenience of entering one REALLY BIG box that provides a leisurely stroll along the storefronts that are side-by-side and across from each other. I want a place where I can see more people of a variety than I can imagine. Adults, young adults, kids, toddlers and, yes, senior citizens. Families together and family members cruising stores of each of their singular interests. Groups of elderly people strolling together on days when there are fewer shoppers for a peaceful period of mild exercise. These are signs of life as we should view it.

You may say, lump it, leave it, just don’t peeve it! Fed up in Hernando? Not quite yet. Now is not the time to expect a quick or even lengthy time period of selling a home, although it’s a dandy period to purchase a home elsewhere.

Elderly relatives in Zephyr Hills are of primary concern. Their minds are well but their aching bodies foretell the inevitable. I don’t desert loved ones.

I blame government officials and business leaders for the spreads of ever-growing unoccupied homes, and those not yet built on Hickory Hill, Sunrise and Lake Hideaway. They’ve done their best to boxed us in with small town decisions. I’d like to take each of these people and box their ears, one by one. This is no threat of bodily harm, just an upside down euphemism strewn with sarcasm. What a good humor man, I am!

Cases in point: a shopping center in the vicinity of Spring Hill Drive and the SunCoast-Tampa Toll Road, was to be named “Shoppes of Spring Hill” but changed to “SunCoast Crossing” this past April to better identify the location along the toll road. Or to distance the 53-acre tract from local identification? That’s kind of impersonal.

I suppose the remaining location for a mall in Hernando County would be along County Line Road off the SunCoast, although chance would put a Wal-Mart there.

If we can’t attract a developer to build Masaryktown Mall, another chance would bring about Pasco County Mall… in another county.

For the time being I’ll continue to walk among the shops at the Gulf View Mall… in another county. Or, for a less congested, less red light-infested journey, I can head to the Crystal River Mall… in another county. One trip – one parking spot. Two choices... not in Hernando County.

Any guesses where I’ll do my primary Holiday shopping?